Reading Observer 09-1917

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WISE AND"OTHERWl
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Wife; ,. What are yo-::J earning
this

time

in . the

hom ~

morning!' "

H '.l:;i

" Beck'luah."

Sbe (after the proposal): "You m ll <. '
Up: "'fo cOD;;ii!er':"
;';' )1(: ,

, ,.....

me time."

to break off my last .ell.,gngcment. "
'
(class

Tctlphe r

what

FOR THE

;:lre

Thames ?"

the

.
1fl

gcogl' J.p I l,y) :

-principal

Bohby:" Fish , n.:1'tJl ,l : '

"Are you renBy happy in you r
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N,.. F.q,RM~ fQI: '; S\,l~~r: ~ar,ds -; ~I1 :~! ~'
bef~r~ ' ~te,~~'~:( ~th;\ If yOU : ha~e
a • ,form by.: this,, : -cia.t~; .you sho,uJp·l
local P~t ()ffice. ~ , .
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not

TO

'~These

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yoor '

for

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a

Hostess:
Doesn't it set1Ti'I a.
Jones, th::.t this poor little b!f\o
to die fa r us?" Mr. JO~ : HAn,
{l

for

It is rather tough ~ "
Dine r: "I belie ve I
sever ..l fl ies
!CllP, waiter."
Waiter (In ' -surprise ) ;

September 24th, 1917,
,"0 ~ EDITOR

or

TID!:

see

"

nmst be mist..'dtcn, eit. 1 1"" ... 3 rery .
take th em all out before I brought i i.
. Chollie: ,; I fiRUI'cd out t!li s
.
many a.ncestors I rt!ally 11 d, nnrl
.were ee'ieral thoasam:l." M.tu~ Blune:
just think of the insigni6 ca.nt I result
j I
thaso a~cs tors!"
Vi~r: .. You say you ere too old
Army, nnd ybu can't do heavy
ca.n you do?" Tramp: " Well l
Ler ',vi .. s mol:.in' cigars ·in the groc[, he,u.,e
l~eep . bout the hi~cts ~ "
I
Mrs, F.daJety, "' What • rud e
Hiflicr is ~ She alwa-ys 1001<5 b<!.ck .at

Sirl -In nfelence to. the
bert in your lut , w{lek's
·pa.pers for the Library, I
a >C Catholic" paper 'is
far grea.t.er .... a.lue than

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t

Still this is not the first
~t~,ted fnr ,om~" oIng

a.nd one
" B enld " this week
outside his part.y ) t.o
biursed on matters. of

l1i1l1 01.

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COr.reriulli!nt

September 24th,

'/

who pass
know?"
her at it
"Wby

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In our last week's
mpplementary

~~:~~~~~~"d . b:.:
tb.
Th. cat'L\ogue

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twice martied tmd once rejected,"

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Mother: "He ·is Q. very desirable · m At r;:!.
Mary , . and I think he lo\·cs · you. " . DD.~bt ! ' r

TEA

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her." Mr . Faddlety: .. How
Mrs. ' Fn.ddlcty; " "'lhy, I ' n
sc;veral times. my s~lf. "
did yot1; rc.si gu from the

asked tbe fair visitor of her nos't e~s.
Colonel G1lid I must bave my helmet
joust lik~ the otHer he!mel3 in the r egimcn ~ :
~r.d I sun ply wouldn' t 8und it."
.
Mi ss Sentiment; ." Were you e~er .o.isao·
pointed in love!'" Eligible . '~idower : .. T·;·o
nnd s. ~ha.lf' times. '"
!1iss Sentiment; " '"fwo
and u,.lu11I timeS'?" Eligible 'tidower: "Yc:} ,

the

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S!l(e

l~st ni gl lL. Pn d i
8.~ U:;-:.la~. " ... How wns th:l.l, ?" "lit'

De

to. bring
one, would en joy

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, ./

h..&.ppy."
,4 ·We dined obt

(>nd of the dinn er with three for ks
~p~ons smJi unused."
I

, Let

,S~ar
' ~rd.
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•
us we shall
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be
'pleaSed
,to arrange
,
. .
sugar. in , l·acrordcknce
with the
\. ,:

will ~n&

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YGu . will
_. . -thl~m recei;v~I

:8'0170lt Or" TIr.E ,.

I , think these

I '~ocr~

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sight, 1f3.jor? "
?I.ajor Da.rby (i n :u ,'.
si \' c whi sper) !" H Bee:Luse I Cdl i ll loye
EighL"
. He: .. ( shl].l1 he j ~lst IT!ilserablc W h ~:1
to g o a ..vay and lea.rc YO t!. " S ~ : (' :
Tommy, dcar, if I were
of that I 'd

Library, and,

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The Au thor: c; Ccn I get it copyri 3!i v ~ ':'
Guest..; """ hy do you belle \'(:: i~l ,.,.

Sir,-I quite' agree ,,-ith
G. 'lIerbert, that. v""''''"

should . be filled ,.'. in, 'aM reWme.d to
,.
Office

} tl}e LQcal

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G ' ur: "

The' Doctor: ., so t\tar as I can te!l 1; '.- "
vMioll, you ba.f".c an en tirely 11l~ \'1 r:') ·

ff

ior one miles a.way
QNL y" "A'" , ;·.·.0:.:

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.. Ca.tholic Times" to

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w c r! ,j,,-, { ~

"Oh, yes, moth er.

I h;lVe lo ts of quarrels and ·1 n.!w:t.r;.

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apply ·to.

' t,

my d enr?"

unolt 07 TJiiI:I
Bir,-May I 1.Y tb.t
right wben bi saY" that .. Ca,tb()1ic
00 in the Library? · r for
hours ill ilie ' Library
'!'O ','1'IO:

., L
ot

f F:' r. ll '-'l' 5

"I'm not eo slire of tlrat.,,1 Molher: · f l \'il n
not?" Dilughter: · " He lea,\'cs "r!l~ in less tb;W
an hOl.lT R.fter bidding good·night."
,
'~W.h~t's that! .. ~ried
,new doc t<lr :n
the mlDlllg camp, : " ,You r.n.y you l have Sho0t.
ing pains ' I in . yoUr bil-Ck.
rhy, YO:i're
wounded l roan!"
" Th;:..t,'s wh at I sa.i.d'shooting pains,''' so..id Piuto Pelt-e.
.
A ma.Q ra.ther untidy in IllS personal habils
"VllS cllscllssmg the question. of . a new waist.
coat wit.h a friend. " Wltn.t colour woul d '·ou
au vi!;c 1 ,. he n.s.ked t he ¥iend. 'I' why ," ;~d
t he friend, n I'd get one of soup co!ol!r:
" Aha! I cc..t:eh you buyiI)g. a. porou~ p~tt ster.
.po 11 I thought your ,carelcpsncss WOI! ~,i
bring you to this. " ' " It ain't t.l!.e plas ter th:ll
does o\e good;" an.twered tIlt; ern.n~
,. It it
the "enti:lanon obtained through t11e .hole!;."
Rich ' SpiJ?-ster Aunt: ." He;w j \Y"cJl ·bchil\"o:" ,.1
y~ur children are, Geo~ .• WbJ.t .Dolll', yr.u
are_ quile ' I little .llldy. , The ;Lit~e ' 'LUll:" ,xes ; . pa sa.ld If we dIdn't I ~elJflVe he'(j
.' knock our blooming heads off, dian ' t YOll, pa. ? .
If I
Bm told, sir, tha.t .you sJid .yesINda;y
that I ougllt to \pe placed in I a Ju~tic a-:y·
::.lln." ~ 'A ba.se slander, my ·deer fellow , 1
assure you. W\bat I did ea.y, . and-I Iike to be
('.X"act, was that the keepers Sb"ould never ba p
u.J1owed you ' to e~p.e." , .
Ireno·: "Do ·you mean 100 Btt.y Mall<t" ill goin~
to m1l.rrjf that ugly fat old man who took 11 ("
out to supper just. DOW?"
La~a:· " T11at t ~
wh&t &\'erybody says." 'f JfI'h-at a. bitter pill
he must be!" .. No, he's sUgar-con ted, He i.
:0, wea.lthy cODfecti()~er."
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A .IllGIther. retu~ hem' a lect-au on tbt
~ecessity for economy in !tOed, Iproeeeded b:J
mtpart the ~ ? t
leemrerts rema.rkf
to · the ~er n:ie.mrbetB ·· pf . h ~r . household .
ending up with, ',And, mind YJ
if you can
eat a pieoe-dess, eat it!"
'The bad jboy 'no~ I on . the blackboard,
. u.o.~. teach~ is. a. donkey." Tlie other bqy~
~pated ,mclliollS when , !.he 1sch.olm.slt, ·
aui-.ed; . ~t theD!l wer·e none, I He mere! v
'Wl'O~ the woul '" dri"l:"er 'I' after "donkey;'
ud_scbo&l. opened as usual, \ i I
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"". WAR ' IT,EMS.
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FRENCH ' DECORATIoN.

r-...ca,pl.

DiD!dan. baa

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J, C, BloI'bor, 9722, Scot.
~ ...'IP1Il'ded tho Croix de

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1I<Ited~.

a~~.

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~~ ,~-CoI. A, ...A.

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X, ~Sparr",.

D.B..O:>, 1I:lp~ I Boyal _ ~b .~J;..,.hu *1'
1Ixth • .D'S,p, ,Col.
-Bnattooir

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entries.
faults.·

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BF.l<GIAN DECOAATlmt. , =
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T""II'- L\oaL:!(. B •._,.Doy&! Berb... _ _
rank of' Chov&lier in tho Or
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up to
d ict iOl~.ry basis

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-BERKS

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arc:
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" M1l.rY', ..

said the

ml&ti'eSI!

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to

the

ne-.-:

housemaid, ... go up the rb.~ to the por-k
· 1mt.eher's and eee if he hAs jpig's feet." M~r~'

"found the shop,. 1&9 the butcher, haste.b.ed
. "back, and ..i<l 10 her 'miatt:eaa: "I could not

h.

.eo ..
I,..j Jtio boGi.s .... "
,
The Pr~ ', "Wh,t D>a4lo l that "",\I>
,.,... walk out w:iIIItoat aaying .• ~! You
didu't cf1and. Mm., I suppo,"·! 'I ShopmaD ;
U I don't tli1ak
{ did, sir. Be hked me to
sQow him a..hat to suit his bead, and I shOll'M
1tDn eome of eur seft; feits, "
did th.t
little &rtiat. brea k
sbe did not
. the match,"
' ....She did
-r futuro

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REWS~1'RivJ[TE'~·EIi::rorT.'

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· ' ·~ '~f · 1>aITkJ!lllo\i,.o!
~ ·~ol " _. fOm9y

m i l, UIP ,!,

b:-,gc

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d CL' p "r ,1".:. n
PCPP I'l', pom
. lop

t !ti \~ kl' ·

, h r.tf i ts .... 1' .
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cho :'l' ..

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ch opp ~d

wit.1!

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tl lC (·,l ..·;is
p lll C'C al' cl ·

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\l:\hrl r.. ,· .
i l.. mOl'· 1 \,
lh e ~ i <! r ·'Ii·
..... nl "' f .

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.t.~ l l'

lih' a

. G()1.DJ!: ~ :
i n' ~ p un .
hent t() ~ (' I '

Lrenk f (\:-<l "·"

t e3!;p oron f ld

the

lil" !..!

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adLi two \\
tu re till i t..
li gh l.i y S !! ~ .

SERGT• .PAL.MEtt 'REPORTED MiSsiNG.
~g Sergt. Harold P"""e.,

-ridolt

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b ul.t61·et.i

tbadIDjoII .JIod<o lI>ogime&t, who;" reporl<>d DliuiDlI'

S"Ull

• . T,.~"" 'u, Kensiagton:ro.d, ReadI"I, Is

l'aImet'wu:ldo. ~

~ u. to storie

he-would:bf>;.obliged ebooJd ."~ co~elIe .of P&~'
be abte. to- ~1Ml""!I TeFding him . . Sergt. E. .,
CI .. r~: If De Batt:Alion made a."Q a.ttadc: on t
1i00000000!lineo a,m....un.r
witb4d"Vaa~g'and

•

Rf.,.

deal 01 hat'd ffgh~
'

retiring, tlie Battalion-w~ ftiliev

1retu.J:ned. H o. was J t
""",,;faithfnlly carrying out llio duty. ""d,. . .t\'ag~l •

and:np.to'l1O.W""Hazold bas not

c8ntiDrle fo.ootno-in we are hOJ)eful" that ·many of

"
~ ma.y yet returu. II . '.I1le Ca.ptain of Palmel\'.
company. in the ~une of .. t letter, 8&Y8-: H:rhe corf:' ~ U8'9"8r sustnined ~ greaj;er 10115, for Psbner ~
Undoubtedlv one of our bellt Sergelluts. He did !Us
woa)oy.a1lj- and , well,..aud 'waa .1Wa.7s cheerCu!,
:

PRlVA"lrE

G,IHEATH

KILLED.

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, ){no HeB.th, 5. Rowa.'l-d.-pl.&ce.. on Tu"y morni.n,g
a.letteT {roTO. the i0fficer Commeding the ~ .

reeei"ad
.

ot the 2nd
'

Roya.l B&rb
1

)old

tht KilloIl.-

~giment

aotion

wit1\

W. EdwaEdO, 46046 - (W,t.lIin~,Oi:d),1
],!,G.C.
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PLo, E, A. Broom, 2IIil874 (ReadiDgJ, Oxford

Pte.

..,d
F.
..."d
" Pte, ' E.
Pte~

rtra,·n.

.J·o wn n.

Bu<;ks L,I. ";.,,..~ ~,_, _I,
A" hD«, ~~.~ \'~aw-J
Buw L,I.i '
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Lyfor;d, 1~ ~bl~) ;;
/ and.-Bucko L.I,
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Pte. A. oW, MAy, In'\383 (R~Yl ' Oxford

and Bucks L.l,

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,~'~""-~~~E~~2'~:-~·.I, ~m~i~~~~~~~~~s~~1
,

L.r. ' 1.
R, O.

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Hart>, '~~{Jtl~~~I;

,

~1~~~!:f~

ehopp,ed
.p rmkle
'Wh e n
etl p£uls
\luil I.ill
if

Pk J ,' Tborne, .26755 (1tIa~);: O:dVrII,....d
Bueks ,L,l,
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Pte. g,. H, W<>itburn, ~ ~ (lI
. oniJper),
Hamp","", Regt. ,
r'.·' . ·, .
CorpL A. R , M""tin, 2f?24 ~ . M.G.c..
Pte, C, H. 'A~ WI" , (~}, P..

Spr, A, Barneti, ,175543
.
Pte. J: -AndeJ'lOD,
Innisltilling
teT ~,
Pte. E._
'.
.a¢ Bu".. L~~
Dred of· Weandof- '
pte., ' J, NIjOb, ,1l!l370' (~:tl~d~r, ..
"t~7;:;'tto';~~;
Pte.BeIil8D, 96"1p9 . (l

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